Putting yourself in others' shoes

Check out an online activity about bullying from Family Service Canada to get a feel for what it is like to be a bully, a victim, an intervener, or a bystander.

In this activity, you are on a simulated playground where there are different types of students, each of whom has a story to tell and is affected differently by bullying situations. By clicking on the faces of the different characters you can follow them through different scenes.

Send your comments.
Imagine you are one of the characters on this Website--bully, victim, intervener, or bystander. How did you feel about bullying from that character's point of view?

Comments

[Oko]

Why do you bully?

[ugg caspia]

I read so many different articles, but I like your articles, and hope you will write more, and better. I will assit to reading them, thanks.

[Lacey]

putting yourself in other ppls shoes is really hard. bc u dont know how their lives are. i wish ppl saw inside my shoes.

[Celebrityjuicy]

Hello
Your forum is great! I like it and its very helpful.
Thank you much for your work. Cheers!
Sorry for off topic.

[Thomas Jäger]

Congratulations on this great weblog and the many excellent discussions here! I`m a researcher from Germany and currently search for web resources on school bullying and violence. This site is a really great example for the use of a weblog and I would very much like to invite the adminstrators of this site to an online conference that will start next week (unfortunately I haven`t found a contact address anywhere on this site). To this conference we invited representatives from portals, web sites, forums and others web resources on school bullying and violence. So far, we have participants from more than 15 countries and I very much like to have you in this conference as well. I`m sure the other participants can learn a lot from your approach ...

[Anne Davis]

I just want to tell all the contributors to this blog that you have done an outstanding job discussing a serious world wide problem. You have come up with thoughtful ideas and possible solutions to combat bullying. I also want to complement you on the illustrations. They are amazing and really help to focus on the issue. I trust that you all will continue to educate others about this issue. I have been impressed with your insights and discussions. Keep up the good work!
Anne Davis

[Sujeong Hong]

Putting myself in the victim's shoes:

"It's Monday morning. I have to go to school again. Please, I hope nothing happens today. Two weeks ago, following my father's job, I transferred into to this school. On the first day, I met a boy who lives next door and we began to become friends. Because I didn't have any friends in this new town, I was very happy and thought I could make may friends.

But, the fact I am his friend has made a big problem. Some mean girls like him. Since they saw me talking with him, they have began to harass me. I cannot use my locker because bullies make it dirty, I walk alone because they have threatened to kill me if I talk with him, and they are spreading untrue rumers about me on the Internet. I can understand the bullies, but I am irritated by their harassment. However, I don't know how to manage the incident."

[Lee, Eun Hyun]

I'm putting myself in the shoes of a victim:

" I feel very angry and want to fight against them, but I know if I fight against them, they will harass me more, so I just suppress my anger. Frankly speaking, I 'm more angry at bystanders than bullies. They can help me and can report to teacher, however they don't do anything for me. I think they also enjoy this sight. I don't want to go to school. I want someone to help me."

[Yan]

Putting myself in the shoes of the bully:

"I am Bobby, a bully on the playground. Today, the teachers said I was a very bad kid because I was always absent, didn’t do my homework and bullied others.

I felt so mad and went to the playground with my best friend John, my partner. We saw Tom, a thin, shy boy with glasses. John and I just went to push Tom down and took Tom’s glasses away and dropped them to the ground. At that moment, I felt so good when I saw that Tom was lying on the ground. However, just several seconds later, my feeling would not be so good because of Tom’s angry and upset face. I had to prove I was a strong, powerful and cool man, so I walked away with my friend John laughing and Tom still sat there crying."

[Mi Hye Ahn]

I am a bystander who can't intervene in bullying situations. I fear that situation, so I can't intervene because if I am involved in it, the bullies will bother me, too. I always feel that the victim is very pitiful, but I can't help him, so I am very confused. However, I know that I am a witness to a crime now, and I have decided that I will try getting other people involved. It will be a good thing for the victim and I will be braver.

[Eunjin Kim]

Putting myself in a bystander's shoes:

If I am a bystander when bullying happens, I will not do anything because intervening in bullying situation requires me to be brave. If I don't intervene, I feel guilty because I can help the victims even though I am safe and come out unhurt. So bullying is a bitter insult to victims and bullies, even to bystanders like me who don't want to watch it.

[Lim Ju Hee]

Putting myself in the shoes of a victim:

"I am a victim, and I dislike the very thought of it. Because of a bully, I suffer from nightmares and don't want to go to school. Whenever I was bullied, I hoped that someone would save me from bullying, but nobody did. I 'd like to pluck up my courage and tell an adult about the bully, but I am afraid of revenge."

[Yong Jin Lee]

Putting myself in the shoes of the bystander on the imaginary playground:

"I feel really ashamed because I do not try to help victims when they are harassed by bullies. I am afraid of being the next target and I just want to keep away from bullying incidents."

Most victims refuse to get help from other people because they are not that brave and they do not want other people get in trouble because of them.

In my opinion, bystanders will change their minds and help victims after they visit our web site, "A Look at Bulllying." They will realize that they can also be in this situation since bullies often target their victims randomly. I hope our bully website gives confidence to victims so they can stand up to the bullies."

[Sung Hwi Chung]

In this playground, I choose Lan, who is an intervener.

"I feel very upset when I see bullying situations because bullying is a very serious problem in this world. Some victims commit suicide because of bullying.

If I observe bullying situations, where bullies are hitting or teasing victims, breaking their things or taking their money, I will scold bullies and I will tell teachers or the victim's parents."

[Seo, InJi]

Putting myself in the shoes of Brenda – the bystander:

"When I saw the bullying incident I knew it was a bad thing and I had to help the person being bullied. But I was scared that if I intervened in the bullying, then I would become a victim too, in retaliation.

But I think if I intervened with many bystanders, I could help victims and tell bullies that they’re bad. I could say, “Stop it!” I know I would need bravery."

[Demba]

Putting myself in the victim's shoes:

"Actually, I'm the victim in that bullying incident. I feel terrible and like a slave. I feel like I'm not free anymore and under command. The bully hits me and treats me really bad as usual. I feel I cannot hold out longer, this cannot last anymore. I have never had that feeling in my life before. There is nothing worse than bullying for me."