Why do some people bully?

A bully can think of all kinds of ways to make another person feel hurt, afraid, uncomfortable, or just plain miserable. It can be physical, verbal, or emotional. Often bullies torment a victim over a long period of time, increasing the victim's sense of fear and distress.

Go to CBBC Newsround to explore your own ideas about bullying. You can take a quiz, analyze bulling dilemmas, and more.
 

Your thoughts: Have you ever witnessed a bullying incident? If so, what happened? What do you think makes bullies behave so aggressively? Why do they become bullies?

Comments

[Leilani]

I think that bullying has to stop because people are getting their feelings hurt. Stop bullying please!

[Claire]

I never thought I was a bully until years later when a friend from school told me I was! I was absolutely horrified when she told me! Couldn't believe it. me a bully? Can't really see how I was bullying but as I've grown up I notice that i am a sort of loud and domineering person but how do you sort bullying ? I think some things in life change different people. I had problems but they were mine. I don't think I blamed anyone but if I did I apologize. truth

[Katrice]

People need to grow up ! One day they are going to realize the damage that they are doing to children & teenagers. I went through primary school getting teased and picked on nonstop. It's horrible.

[Michael]

I have 1 son in High School and 2 girls in Middle School. I have had more problems with the girls in Middle School being horrible. These girls can be vicious. It's absolutely ridiculous. These kids need to be dealt with. Punishing the victim only adds more self-esteem problems. Didn't the poor kid suffer enough by being picked on in the first place!Teen suicide has increased so much, and bullying can be a very big factor. We have had 2 in the last month in our little town. It's awful. Stop Bullying NOW!!! Parents teach your kids to be nice!

[Vic]

Raising teenage girls and dealing with bullying How to help our children deal with bullying and what we can try to do about it. Also how sooo many celebrities support those kids out there that are desperate and seem to feel that they are all alone .

[Chocolate Sista]

Chloe and Kendra, I know this is December 2011 and all but I was bullied around that same time, 2010 of last year. Chloe I was bullied the exact same time you were last year and all I can say to you is I hope that you aren't bullied anymore. ..... I was 15 last year too. Now I am 16 and a sophomore and I went to a new school, ..... Besides from one incident, most of the people at ..... are nice to me and that is a PUBLIC SCHOOL! I am glad the bullying ended and everything but I still have some wounds to heal. Thanks Angela for saying that time heals wounds. You make me feel confident. Writing this down makes me feel happy that I can relate to people who were bullied as well as I was. I want to stop bullying and especially the bullies! I don't EVER WANT TO SEE my bullies ever again because seeing them makes me sad and feel bad. I think it will take years to heal that wound.

[Lala]

... bullies leave people alone and get a life.

[Lala]

I think bullies should really stop. its a waste of time of other people lives.

[Fes]

fight fight fight

[Ku'voynah Jasscerz]

A lot of people think they are all that because they bully..... NOT TRUE people cry because of bullying.

[Chloe]

I am getting bullied and it is not fun. If you are getting bullied too, then you can tell a teacher/principal or some other grown up. You just tell the bully to stop. I hope that works!

[Lalaine]

There can be bullies at work too. Even if they are adults, they feel accomplished if they bully others. It's an honor to them when you laugh at their jokes at the expense of others.

So if you witness any of this with others, just ignore the bullies and not laugh at their jokes. They weaken when no one is watching and admiring their bullying expertise.

[Ashley]

I heard of this contest that some of you may be interested in. I think I'm going to give it a try. You create a short video on bullying and submit it to www.clipsbyu.com

It's their 2011 contest. The winner gets $2,000 cash prize along with more runner-up prizes. This is a chance to show ppl how bullying effects the victims

[Sammy]

I think people bully because there is an imbalance of power in their lives. Somebody superior to the bully has abused their power over them and hurt or degraded or even just made them do something they didn't want to do in some way.

So to make them feel like they have some control or power over their lives or some worth, they abuse the power they have over another person's life; e.g. a teenager is being abused by parents at home (adults misusing power against them) so they go to school and bully the kid a few years younger than them (abusing the power they have over the younger kid, making them feel like they have some power over life).

[M. Njaga]

By Mucheru Njaga

Author of Patch: Assumption is a crime.

I was a bully.

I didn't plan on being one. In fact, before then, I was a victim of bullying. As a freshman in an all boys boarding school, I along with all of the junior students served at the behest of the "Prefects", a small group of senior students.

They ruled our school with a heavy hand and had more power than the teachers. They bullied us physically and mentally, once we had to jump on our knees, other times they banned us from wearing pants and limited us to shorts to serve as a constant reminder to who we are. Verbal humiliation was an everyday occurrence as well.

Four years later, I became a "prefect", a bully and part of a system I once despised. We would raid the freshman area in the middle of the night and make them follow whatever we ordered them to do at 2 am or face severe punishment. We called them names in front of the dining halls and used them as practice dummies during rugby games.

All of this was acceptable – condoned by the school faculty at the time because the "Prefects" were seen as the guardians and mentors of the young students.

Today the danger of bullying and its impact on our society is finally shaking many people awake. Many groups and organizations have made significant steps in our fight against bullying but there seems to be a growing number of bullying related deaths in America and the world.(Statistic)

So where's the disconnect? Why are we letting this happen?

Where does bullying start?

In our efforts to address this growing problem, we tend to focus more on the end result of bullying rather than why it starts. The kids we recognize as bullies and vilify as the aggressors could easily be our very own children or next door neighbor.

In other words, for every victim, there is a perpetrator, and I set out to find out what turns a lovable kid or teen into a bully. For the last couple of years, I compiled a case studies I believe could be a catalyst in our bid to stop bullying.

Throughout my entire experience, I noticed the common motivation behind bullying is fear. As a victim, I was afraid to fight for what I knew was right and as a bully, I feared losing the tight grip of power I held. It is this fear that keeps things status-quo and continues the cycle.

The same basic principle plays out in schools today. Bullying is almost always a direct or indirect byproduct of fear. "Fear" of being labeled, "fear" of being uncool, fear of being seen as weak.

Most if not all instances of bullying are rooted in fear. Sadly, it is this fear that prevents kids from living a free life, where they are free to be different, to be gay, to love a certain kind of music or activity, to be themselves.

So how does true change take place?

Define bullying with your kids and talk it out:
For teens public perception has a substantial influence on their daily decisions. We need to clearly explain to kids what bullying is, how to spot bullying tendencies within themselves and how to avoid acting them out.

Take away the cool factor:
Show kids that bullying stems from fear, and we could effectively render bullying as an "uncool" deed. The largely successful anti-smoking, "Truth" campaign and the anti-drug, "Rise above the influence" campaign ads help significantly reduce those habits among young people. A well executed marketing campaign endorsed by a popular teen celebrity that showcases bullying as an unacceptable act can help garner attention for the cause.

Be aware of tendencies towards bullying developing in kids:
Educators, parents and children alike must be able to recognize the signs and symptoms of bullying before the problem gets out of hand. If there is a widespread understanding that fear is the underlying emotion perpetrator of the bullying cycle, those who observe a child who exhibits signs of fear and insecurity can spot a problem early on and raise concerns.

Encourage self reflection:
Talk with children who are bullying others and encourage them to consider their behaviors. Often, another problem is bubbling beneath the surface and it is necessary to determine the root of the behavior in order to fix it. Since this self-examination can prevent those problems from manifesting into something more harmful, the earlier it takes place, the better.

Promote open communication about bullying problems:
We have to change the way kids view talking to adults and authority figures about bullying issues. Kids are often worried about "snitching" and the negative perception of telling adults when they are having these types of problems. We must convince them that it is brave, courageous, and admirable to put an end to the situation instead of remaining silent.

Mucheru Njaga is the author of "Patch: Assumption is a crime", a young adult novel based in his personal experience with teen bullying that encourages debate and discussion among teachers, parents and students.

www.patchthebook.com
www.mnjaga.com

[Kendra Wadsworth]

Bullying needs to stop! I hate bullies, my friend ,___, always gets picked on because he is gay. People need to learn how to treat others with respect and not like trash.

I mean how would you like it if you picked on someone and it backfired on you? You wouldn't like it very much now would you? Bullying is harassment.

I've been bullied before and I didn't know what to do so I just took it. But now since I'm a sophomore and I'm 16 I don't take that kind of crap. I see people getting bullied all the time. It's ridiculous and nonsense. You should always treat someone the way you want to be treated not treat one person like trash and someone else like an angel.

[Pete]

Advise to those being bullied-

Round up some of your friends and beat that kid down. I don't care if it makes you no different from them. If they have a group too, beat them down one by one.

Opposite of what the teachers are saying in elementary, but YES, fight back.

If it ever gets too extreme, tell an adult that won't overreact but can put a stop to it.

I am not bullied, but I know lots of kids that are and its horrible.

[RiskMaster]

Report bullying to WeTip They are an anonymous crime reporting hotline.

[Alexis]

People look at bullies like it's just life and everyone has to go through it, but bullying someone else to make you happy is not cool at all. Sometimes people bully so they won't get bullied. Parents need to pay more attention to their kids because their kids could be going through some things and they may not even know it. Stop bullying. It is uncool.

[Theresa]

Bullying has been a big issue in every school. The person being bullied has to pay the price and the one that is bullying is still bullying others and nothing is being done.

I feel if the bullying doesn't stop, schools should be sued for turning blindness to the situation. I also believe that parents should be held accountable. Because of lack of parenting, students do what they want and nothing is ever done.

[Witness]

I once knew this boy who was bullied everyday until he graduated. He never did anything to anyone. He kept to himself and didn't bother anyone, but everyday at recess he would walk around the playground and people would laugh at him, say mean things, kick him, punch him, throw balls at him, and in the winter they'd throw snow and even ice at him. And people did it for laughs. They didn't know they were being bullies. They thought they were just being funny and having fun :(

Someone needs to help people like that poor boy!

[Barry]

I was bullied, now I'm happily sociopathic.

[Jocelyn]

I think bullying is just really sad because some people kill them selves because of other kids that keep bullying them.

I have a friend that is scared to come out of his house because he doesn't want other people making fun of him.

I am doing something for my school, talking about bullying and what I read so far, it is not a nice thing what people do to other kids

[Cauchy]

I think people should step forward and offer help to a victim who is being bullied. That is something missing today (I wonder why!). Most people want to stay aloof and enjoy the show! This connivance from others is the reason why a bully never feels sorry for his actions.

[Sean]

Most bullies are afraid to be bullied, that's why they bully others.